Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
