What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Is it penis luge time yet?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
