on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
