if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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