Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
