so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
