I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Randomize
