marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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