After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
COCAINE IS GR8
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