haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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