Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
