if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
