oh god the rape fog is back!
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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