do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
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Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
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I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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