So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
