remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
It was confusing and full of hummus
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
