2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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