Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver just had a heart attack.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize