dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Send help, water and tortillas.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
