Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control

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(330): View more from Ohio

when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.

(1-203): View more from Connecticut

You were.

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(760): View more from California

Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes

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(940): View more from Texas

Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Still dying that you shit outside

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(914): View more from New York

these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF

(919): View more from North Carolina

They call him magic hands is all I know.

(919): View more from North Carolina

Somethings are best left a mystery

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