Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
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