now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
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And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
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I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I have aggressive nipples.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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