Where did you get a picture of my penis
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
