Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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