I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
