i think i have herpe
just one?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
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Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
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How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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