yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
