it wasn't lemon gatorade
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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