could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize