Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
