don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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