She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
