he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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