uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
