I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
