With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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