Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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