i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
