no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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