I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
