what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
