she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
