I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
