i just wanna soil my oats bro
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
