I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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