It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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