You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
