when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
