I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i was born a porn star she said
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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