The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I licked your asshole in confidence.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
