He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize