There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
