Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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