3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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