I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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