I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You pole danced in your parka.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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