no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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