Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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