Yo dont text me then not text me
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
