Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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