Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
