Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
he was CRYING into my vagina
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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