Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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