nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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