OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize