Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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